Way Back Wednesday – Bar Fight

It’s that time again…. Another edition of Way Back Wednesday!

This one is going to be a little awkward to talk about for me. It kinda has something to do with being single, but it was a huge learning lesson as to who I am really am as a person.  It involves Wings Bar and Grille again (Don’t forget, I spent a lot of time alone there while “dating” a bartender, and weird shit happened). It also is a flashback into my life.

I lived with a few people I worked with earlier in the year, it lasted about a month. We were “friends” much longer that, but when I decided to move out things got really bad, extremely fast. Since then I’ve kind of been in hiding from them, and it’s what pushed me farther into the lonely lifestyle. But if you know me in real life, then you know I’m very passive and try to keep a friendly disposition. Well these girls, we’ll call them the Rudes, I lived with were straight up bitches. I moved out in March and this event happened in late June (I think?).

So I’m hanging out at Wings, and it’s pretty empty. When I pulled up and parked in one of the first spots I knew that it would be slow. (PS I have a very recognizable lunch box of a car. So once you see it, you’ll know which to avoid if you don’t want to party with this animal.) There’s two people inside that I know there from them visiting my place of employment and it’s a calm night. Fine by me, I’ll enjoy my drinks and the company.  So I head outside to smoke a cigarette and the bartender… let’s call him Jay… came out and said “Just so you know the rudes are here“. Jay is working and kind of telling me in passing, so I asked about if it was cool if I just left then. I had planned to stay till closing with him to go to his house after he got off. For some reason I thought he said “No, it’ll be okay, just stay” but what was said was “Not it’s okay, you don’t have to stay“. Well I wish I had better fucking hearing, because next thing I knew, there they are standing next to me at the bar. I mean, they knew my car and could have avoided this bar. There’s 4 others down the road…go there. But nope. The #1 bitch of the group is in my ear, kind of calling me out, and being a huge smart ass. I had no intentions of talking, looking, or acknowledging these girls. But they’re not cute, and really aggressive, and of course I had to be their first (and last) stop at that bar. So again, in a passive way I’m trying to turn away to get up and away from the situation, and that’s when it happened. Rude #1 hit me in the face, open handed, and all I could do was yell for Jay. He instantly kicked them out (One of the nicest things he’s done) and stood outside listening to them trying to apologize to him about it (one of the worst things he could have done, come on take my side at least).

So I got upset. Not because I got hit in a bar, but because I once considered this girl and her whole group my friends. I did a lot for them, and took a lot of bullets for them as well. And she hit me. After months of not seeing each other, she couldn’t just be chill and cool. She had to have the upper hand. So I hung back in the pool room with the two people who stop by my work place, and they calmed me down. It’s a girl and her boyfriend. She had him watch to make sure they didn’t come back. And I went out and smoked a cigarette and called my friends to calm down. And I kept hearing the same things why didn’t you hit her back? why didn’t you call the police? but that’s not what I wanted to do. I just wanted to sit at the bar, enjoy drinks, and not have something like this happen. My friends made jokes about going after them, and what they would do what would happen if they came after me again. But even to this day, I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to be the white trash girl fighting at the bar. I don’t have a tolerance for this kind of nonsense, and there isn’t any shame in avoiding it.

Jay came back and said they were down the street at a bar his friends worked out talking about beating my ass. Now that’s embarrassing — but I have to give myself credit. My response to that was “Well damn, I still look pretty good considering I just got my ass beat“. I mean, how dumb could they be? lapped me in the eye…. now if you had knocked me out and left me black and blue, I’d give you the credit. But really? My message to rude #1: If you need the confidence boost, then have it. Because my job, my car, my home, my friends, my income… I earned all of that and did it the right way in life. Tell me what you’ve accomplished? I can proudly say that at the very least I don’t look like a psycho bitch at a bar and well… what can anyone say about you?

So what I’ve learned is to not trust people as much as I used to. And that I like being a non-violent person. I’m happy at the fact that I would never do that to a person out of hate. You look cheap and pathetic fighting at the bar. Nobody likes having to kick people out of the bar, nobody wants to watch you try to make yourself look cool by hitting someone alone at the bar. So lesson for you kids to learn — Fucking. Drop. It. If you’re pissed and have hard feelings — GET OVER IT. You look like a child. I just hate seeing anybody fight at bars. I’ve seen dudes get body slammed and head butted and it’s not attractive. I’d much rather watch you talk shit on Facebook than harm someone physically.

This is probably not a Way Back Wednesday that’s hilarious, but I got hit at a bar. Lol. An annoying moment in my life shared with you kids on behalf of my single bar hangs. Just remember this the next time you feel anger. Bar, work, in general. Violence isn’t the answer, and even more so when someone is by themselves. Be understanding of the humans around you, and if you mentally can’t handle that stay away from people. Grow up, it’ll do you a lot of good.

Be cool cats 🙂

“Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.” – Robin Williams

 

 

Why you should be friends with bartenders (but don’t date them!!)

Okay that title jumps to conclusions, I apologize for that. But I have some cool valid points and some shitty reasons as well. So at least read my advice!! I may be young but I got an early start and you should take this as a starting point.

I have friends that are bartenders and they are the coolest I know. I have made out with bartenders and I would totes do it again. I have “dated” bartenders and it was a Big. Fucking. Mistake. Let’s get real about this.

Being friends with a bartender means you’re going to learn about chill bars and great food. And they usually know what nights all the college kids are gonna be at the bar and what days have the best specials. Once you build that relationship you’ll also learn how to be a better patron. You’ll tip your friends better, and they’ll in return take better care of you. Maybe pour a little more in your drink versus the shitty customer sitting next to you. (Probably NOT legal, but I’ll welcome it.) take care of them and they’ll take care of you. My bartender friends don’t ID me anymore ( one less step to getting my drink) and won’t make me start a tab (also one less step between getting my drink — they know my order — and leaving — I don’t have to tell them my name). Remember being awesomely cool people is how they make their living… But they’ll be even better if you are too. All relationships are 50/50. Even this part aside, a bartender as a friend means you’re going to hear good stories. They’ll be able to pull the most memorable nights they’ve experienced and you’ll get to laugh your ass off at the stupidity of others. They also give great advice. My friend Cassie (hey girl hey!) is ALWAYS right. Always. It’s kind of scary, but she just is. Advice, business, logic, she generally gets it all and she’ll tell you straight up how it is. Bartenders are also very good at math and counting… And well I’m not. Haha! Bonus!

Now the most sassiest thing you can do is make out with your bartender. If it’s safe, if they are showing just as much interest, and they are single too (very important!!) give them a smooch here or a full on, hot make out session! 1.) you’ll get the single kid fix you need. I don’t need to get down and dirty, but a kissing session reminds me that I’m attractive and can still get a man. Confidence boost: check. 2.) They’ll treat you better than a friend. They’ll buy you an extra drink that you may not need or order you something a little better than what you’re drinking. It’s a win/win. You’ll learn a new drink that you wouldn’t normally try, and you’ll feel pretty special. They’ll pretend you’re top dog for a minute and you’ll feel better walking out. Personality boost: check. 3.) Come on… Who doesn’t love a bartender? They know what drink to make, when to do it, and generally celebrates every positive and negative moment in your life with you, even if they want to or not. Need I say more?

Now. Let’s get serious. Don’t date a bartender!! Woah, still aggressive. Okay, don’t date a bartender unless you kind of live and want to live that lifestyle. Do you work long nights? Do you work mainly weekends? Are you okay with you significant other flirting to make extra money? If you’ve answered ‘No’ to any of these questions… DON’T DO IT. Bartending is a whole different world. And if you aren’t involved in that world or welcoming to it, you will get hurt. Been there, done that. In the past, hanging out my guys bar that he works at did nothing but make me self-conscience and that is never deserved. The girls he worked with made it worse and it sucked. I never felt good enough. Granted, he didn’t make the effort to be in a real relationship with me and that was his own personal problem. But it still sucked. Don’t get me wrong, if the right guy who gave a fuck came around and was a bartender, I’d probably give him the time of day. But just know their motives. Make sure they are out for your best interest.

And just so you don’t think I’m that bossy… no matter what I say, think, or do and give advice on… Live your life the way you want to!!

“My ex taught me about heartbreak, my girls taught me about friendship, but most importantly my bartender taught me about manhattans.” — Dumped

Ladies and Gentlemen Listen (and Drink) Up!!

I  firmly don’t believe I’m a feminist and certainly not a “feminazi”. I think a man’s mind is advanced in certain key factors and a woman’s is in key in others. I mean, give a man a freshly born baby and he might not have the instinct to raise it. Give a woman a drill and some drywall and she probably wouldn’t know what to do right away. But if you give both manuals, books, and further education and they’ll both figure it out. And they’ll both be (decently) successful, until they are completely competent in that subject. Then they’ll be fucking great. So I’m creating a manual that is influenced by my small attachment of being proud to be a woman and independent. I am self sufficient and can hold my ground as a woman sitting alone at a bar. Tonight is Lucky’s Tap Room and Eatery, located in the Oregon District. Small and cozy, and only the second time I’ve been here.  (By the way, if you have a bar suggestion or request let me know! I’ll be happy to test the lonely waters.)

There’s not much seating and I’m sandwiched on the corner by two men, one of which has already introduced himself and wants to talk about our jobs, my dinner, and what the other tables are ordering. (Please let me eat, drink, and blog in peace. I just sat down!!) Any who, back to this manual. I’m sure I’ll add more to this later, but this is a good start for an easy night.

Here we go! Grab your drink now while you still have time…

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Tips and tricks of being single at the bar… and how to enjoy it. 

Ladies:

1. Never feel like you have to tell a man who is hitting on you at a bar that you have a boyfriend — ESPECIALLY when you don’t. Be honest and the strong woman I know you are, and even more so when you are not interested. It’s okay to just want to chill the fuck out and not get picked up. I read another bloggers post about this and it has changed my single life completely. If it doesn’t work, walk away, and if the man is persistent, tell a bouncer or bartender. No one is allowed to make you feel bad or unsafe for being alone.

2. Eat, drink, and wear whatever your little heart desires. You don’t have to be on a date or plan a huge night out to dress up, head to your local pub, eat a hamburger, and take shots. Most of the bars I visit are laid back and big on beer. No matter how much I try to drink it beer gives me a headache and liquor doesn’t. So no shame in ordering my crown and coke. Hey, to each their own. I also wear a uniform 5 out 7 days in the week, so I dress up when I can. Today I spent 5 hours working on our website in my jammies and still dirty from the night before. So I picked out a dress, took a shower, and decided to look bad ass for no reason but for myself. And order the damn hamburger. Tonight I needed vegetables and got a salad, but next time I’m getting that burger and fries.

3. Learn clever lines to strike up or end conversation. You are beautiful. And guaranteed the men are going to be starting conversation with you. If you want to talk to strangers (one of my favorite hobbies) mention something funny back. One time a guy in a Nasa shirt asked me if I was single and I responded with a “Yes. Are you an astronaut?” He laughed it off and even said he wasn’t expecting that response but no he wasn’t an astronaut. So my way of shutting down the conversation was “well that’s unimpressive”. Very sassy. That’s when the kicker came back in: “I’m not an astronaut but I’ll take you to the stars.” Good one dude! Honestly, thumbs up. It was just a fun conversation that I wanted to continue. Now when someone who is wasted comes up and I just want to drink and watch football and says “you look lonely.” I drop the “I’m in a bar full of people, impossible to be lonely.” Or “you look bored.” “I’ve challenged myself to finish this drink and I need to accomplish that.” That usually gets them to shut up and walk away. You’ll slowly make up your own and if you have lines already, feel free to leave them in the comments below. 🙂

Men:

1. It is not creepy for you to sit alone and chill at a bar. This is the #1 thing I hear guys mention when I tell them about loner bar hangs and tell them to try it out. You’re creepy if you’re with a group of buddies and you’re all drunk and trying to pick up every girl at the bar. That’s a sleaze ball move. But if you’re drinking, enjoying music or sports, or just doing whatever you want to do, you look cooler to me. And if you’re by yourself, so what! You’re having fun and that’s all that matters. You’ll learn new things about yourself and even have awesome conversations with other loner people. It’s pretty fun.

2. Learn your drinking limits. And then drink under those limits. Look I’m not one to tell you have a boring time while hanging out, but if you’re with a group (or not) and you’re slurring your speech or you’re barfing outside, it’s just not cool. People will worry, you’ll get pulled over, you could get really hurt or worse. And if you’re drinking to keep up with your friends or the girl you’re with, that’s just plain stupid. Drink what you can, when you can. Nobody cares if you can belly up to the bar every time the song “shots” comes on. And if they do, they’re young, dumb, and not the crowd you wanna hang with. (Considering the bartender probably already hates them for being annoying as fuck.)

3. Find your signature drink and enjoy it when you can. I’m sure everyone knows by now that I am a crown royal and coke girl. But if bud light keeps ya happy, drink it. Shots of patron with a lime, by all means order it. Shirley Temple? Have at it dude. (I mean, I don’t strongly suggest a Shirley Temple, just for the fact that there is no alcohol.) Anyway, at the end of the day, the only person you should be out to please is yourself. If your friends make fun of you for ordering a “girly” drink, then they are crappy friends (you can do way better–or simply drink up with pride and laugh when they cringe and choke on the shot they’re doing that they don’t even like.) So order that pineapple upside down cake and chug that shit. Ain’t no shame when you’re doing your thing and well for what it’s worth, you’re still neat in my book.

So in conclusion, have fun being you. Take pride in the choices you make. And enjoy this life… It’s the only one you’ve got. I once read that you only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough and that is a key thought to being excited about the life you lead as a single, powerful, and independent human being. Male or female. 😉

“I started being really proud of the fact that I was gay, even though I wasn’t.” – Kurt Cobain

Stay cool kids. ✌️

 

Mr. Vines, Mr. Daniels, and a free meal (?) Oh My.

All week I’ve been thinking about eating an actual meal at a bar found on 5th street in the Oregon District called Blind Bob’s. It’s one of many on this street, but the music isn’t bad, and I’ve spent a few drunk nights here (definitely made out with a cute bartender during my… Let’s be awkward… Stage of my twenties) and the music and crowd is good enough for me to come back. So I went for a meal (BLT, all the toppings, and chips), and I haven’t eaten all day, so of course I drink that first crown and coke that I ordered with a fury. What better way to end a rough day? Mmm bacon… Mmm mayo… Mmm carbs….

Time for a cigarette and I’m back to order my second drink. Mind you I’m about 15 minutes from home so I do have to be careful and I try to close out my tab after I order.  “Your total is $6 bucks.” “Oh I had a BLT and another drink?” (Mind you the sandwich was so good, not sure if it was the hunger or actually good… I hate tomatoes and onion, but I could eat this BLT a million times over) *re-enter bartender in my semi food happy coma and feeling really honest, I’d totally pay for this shit* “ohhh….somebody already paid for that…for you… He paid your tab… Not sure if I’m supposed to tell you who it was though.” Okay so I’m confused. “Oh wow, thanks? Who paid for this?” “He’s a nice lad and has a good heart.” That’s the last thing he told me but I let it go (unusual for me, I wanted to thank the guy who bought my dinner)… People buy my drinks often, and it’s totally out of pity. Why is this decent girl with a smile sitting alone? How many shots until she’s drunk enough to hit on her? (5 — 5 shots and I’m almost guaranteed to be making out with you). Oh well, I’m still thankful. Thanks guy, not sure who you are (yet) even with a quick look around the bar to see if anyone is watching me pay. And that is when the Carolina Panthers start playing and Mr. Vines wants to hold a conversation.

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(Me and Mr. Vines… the Brown Street Pimp… he asked for a selfie, how could I say no?)

Oh Mr. Vines… Also known as the Brown Street Pimp from 1987 to 2014. He’s got a lot of internet cred and a decently cool guy. But he’ll talk your ear off. I got to see pictures of him in a pimp suit with a black chick cut out from a cheap nudie magazine. When he asked for my phone number… I may have given him my work number. It’s not because I didn’t want to hold a conversation with this man, I did keep talking to him, just didn’t want to get a call to my cell on the regs.

When Mr. Vines takes a smoke break, in comes Mr. Daniels. He taught the “mentally challenged and criminal students” of Dayton Public schools for over 20 years and just retired about 2 years ago. Mr. Daniels was drunk on 151 and I couldn’t understand anything except he loves music and wanted to play the jukebox (but it was taken by some hipster kids). He was really passionate about the music though and I hope to one day find something that when I talk, others feel my passion. Even if I’m wasted. 😉

Mr. Vines came back and started talking with me again. Random questions like what’s my horoscope, how long have I lived in Dayton, and if I was ready for winter. But 2 cigarettes bummed and a borrowed phone call later with Mr. Vines and I just wanted to watch football and drink so I tried to leave for a bar down the street. But before I left I went back to the bartender. I needed to know who bought my meal and first drink. That’s when I asked who bought it. He hesitates and says to me “he’s really nice… And a bigger guy… And his name is…”
[Insert the cute bartender I made out with in the past.] Well this is awkward.

That’s when I left and Mr. Vines walked me to my car. You can think it’s creepy, but he’s been walking these streets (better yet riding a bicycle) for 27 years and wanted to be sure I was safe. So I headed back home. And that is where I am. Just kidding, bar stop first, I’m sitting at comfortable King’s Table. And by comfortable I mean I’ve been here two handfuls of times and they’re starting to learn my name. But tonight was a good night of learning the Dayton originals. And at least I’ve still got it… Free meal for making out with a guy months ago? That’s fine. More $$ for booze.

Kids be safe out there but don’t assume you’re too good to talk to the weirdos.

“I’ve had some of my best conversations with strangers, she said, because they have no idea who they’re dealing with.”

Catch ya on the flip side, Cuties.

Did I really just start a blog?

Hey Kids… I guess it’s time to get this shit started.

Welcome to Sassy stories with Karamazing… of course I am Karamazing and we’re about to get really close. Cuddle up and get comfy…
(I should introduce sultry radio shows on Sirius)

So I’ve been toying with this idea about my blog and how I want it to exist in this world. I want to write the crappy bar experiences I have and give something to the other single ladies out there to relate to. But I have a different single lady in mind. The kind of woman who is or wants to be fully okay with being alone. It’s not that bad on this side of the fence. You get to do whatever the fuck you want, whenever you want.

Okay, so this kind of limits me. 

Not only do I want single ladies to relate to my stories of all things drunken bar hangs, but I also want the Hot Mama’s out there to relate as well. So I don’t have kids (the world is lucky for that right now) but I have a few friends who do. And I’ve talked to them about this bar blog, and I want to share their stories of single mom awkward bar conversations. Before you tell me that a mom should not be at the bar… ALL LADIES DESERVE TO HAVE FUN. As long as their kid isn’t in the car while their taking shots, and they are with a responsible adult, every mommy gets at least one night off.

So feel free to hang out here for a minute, and check out the latest experiences. Leave comments of questions, concerns, and advice. All thoughts are welcome. Almost all thoughts are welcome. If you’re going to be close minded and well just a fucking meany, take that shit to a blog about Oprah. Did you know she makes $10 a second.? Fact. Be rude about her life, because she doesn’t NEED $10 a second. Nobody does.

Wooooosaaaaa. Think Shots.

Kara's Personal Photos 555
(Remember that one time someone bought me a shot of Bacardi 151 as a birthday gift?)

Alright, so this is a good start, I’m excited. But I did work a long day today, and just need to go eat some food and take a shot or two. Hopefully (no, for sure) something weird will happen and you can check back in a bit for awesome stories from this little ball of sassy. Oh, and cut me some slack while I get this blog built and cool looking. Any wordpress support out there is also welcome!! 🙂

One other thing… Motivational quotes are what have gotten me through a lot of annoying and depressing nights. So I’d like to try and share one with you every post I have.
“Be Kind… For everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

Later Gators.